My Letter

I, Love, You, Forever, Privacy, Cool, Yeah, Man, Pizza, McDonald, Fuck, Shit, Like, Quality, R&B, Design, Kiss, Sexy, Beautiful, Girl, WC, One, Two, Three, Game, GameBoy, Water, Food, Merry, Christmas, Happy, New, Year, Cola, CD, DVD, Size, Face, Movie, OK, Big, Very, Good, Music, English, Thank, Byebye, Sorry, Feel, Fahrenheit, TVB, TV, China, Chinese, Miss, Daddy, Mommy, Hot, Wing, Coffee, Tea, Money, Casino.

 

I just woke up one day, and wanted to make this list, so I did. Those are the words that Chinese often uses in daily conversations. I guess westernizing... But most of them say it to make themselves sound smart.

 

¬Suwen.

 

I think there is some kind of misunderstanding... What's written on my space doesn't necessarily have to be true. I dun consider my blog as a substitute for my diary. No thanks.

 

So dun think you know everything about me just because you read my little blog! Creep!

I hate how girls have to hold back tears or just pretend they are not scared. You know it can get annoying sometimes. I feel like just letting it go. Let it flow, to wherever it might leave me. I'll just cry whenever I want, no need to say I never cry, who is really gonna care if I cried or not anyway? I wouldn't really lose anything either. Or always be grudging, and forbidden to laugh. Who cares, just laugh out loud, if I'm going to be sad later on, I'll deal with it later. Leave problems of tomorrow for tomorrow, ne?

 

There's no particular reason, really. I just dun want to be too happy, might later on be too sad.

 

But I'm touching new waters now, I'll try it out. If it works, I'll tell ya ;)

(This is going to be one of those sickening entries about me trying to be positive and everything. IF you're not ready for anything cheesy, do NOT read this!)

 

Dear You,

I know someday You'll come pick me up, embracing me tightly. You'll tell me everything is going to be ok. And it's alright to cry my heart out once in a while. You'll be there when I needed You, You'll be there. You'll love me like You never did before. Accepting me for my everything with my shortcoming. And I swear, I'll just love You as much back. Please tell me the cloudy days will go away and the rainbow will come. Show me Your brightest smile.

 

I'm not perfect, pure, saint or maybe something You'll expect me to be. But please, I swear I'm going to be the best I can be.

 

So, when someday you come pick me up, embracing me tightly, tell me everything is going to be ok.

 

Love You,

 

¬Suwen.

 

I am a selfish person, I want people to love me and me only. I'm desperate for others love because I can't go on without them. I want to be treated well and respected. I might not be brave nor am I smart, but I'll do my best to go on.

 

I'm glad I hadn't left this world an half year ago, I'm glad I was able to face it. To others, I might just be 'another girl on the street' but to me I am the bravest girl in the world. Although the road to recovery will be hard, but I'm almost there. I'm sure I'll make it someday. And then, I'll walked out with confidence and be the most beautiful girl you've seen.

 

I'm happy to know, the world hadn't gave up one me yet, and gave me another chance. Though some mistakes will be erased, I'm forgived. I'll learn from my mistakes and be smarter.

 

God loves me, I know He does. If not I will not realize the ones who loves and treasure me for who I am. When you are low bottom, you can't go any lower, you'll only rise. And I'm rising. I have friends and family helping me along the way. I'll be recovering. I'll be fine.

 

Love. Suwen.